The day was a Tuesday, April 30th, 2019. I left facebook. I did not deactivate because of my fear that if someone went looking for me and didn’t find me, they would think I had blocked them. I didn’t want to inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings. So I left a paragraph saying I was going to leave facebook (again) and this time it felt different. Facebook had become a place where my stomach churned and my anxiety rose. Sure, there were moments of good feelings when I read about a friend’s good day or good adventure or when I saw photos of my grandkids. Things like that made me want to stay but the ugliness that is throughout facebook just pulled me down. Being an empath, I feel everything way too deeply and it not only affects me emotionally, but spiritually and physically, as well.
I have left facebook many times before but was always drawn back with 24-48 hours. In my last paragraph written on April 30th, I give my email address for people to contact me if they so wished. I also let them know that I still have facebook messenger on my phone so I can respond to messages there. I have never been the type to have my phone with me constantly. My waste of time would be when I had my computer up which is 8-9 hours a day at work where I would keep my facebook tab up and running and would check it often (too often) and at night at home after 9:30 or 10 until about midnight and off and on on the weekends but not as much as during the weekdays. I wasted so much time not just reading posts and articles or posting myself or commenting on various posts but I also began to need validation from how many people like or loved or commented on my posts. It really took an episode of Black Mirror called Nosedive to wake me up. Granted that episode showed social media run amuck but it scared the bejeezus out of me. I could not let facebook do that to me anymore and I had a choice. I could leave facebook. So far, so good. It has been only four day but it feels like a lot more than that and although I have twinges of wanting to go back, I would rather live a fuller life and get out in nature more and learn how to be a less technology-driven and more self-sufficient human being.
It is now Day 9 of not succumbing to my addiction of facebook. I am finding that I am feeling like a much better friend by corresponding with people via email. I am realizing who my true friends are and who I truly care the most about. I am learning a LOT more about my friends’ lives via email correspondence than by looking at their timelines on facebook. I think I am really going to beat this addiction to facebook this time. I have less and less of a desire to just go take a look.
Has anyone else made a decision to quit your facebook addiction? What new things have you discovered about yourself and the world around you? I would love to hear about it!